You start introducing yourself as "lord at pacbell dot net".
Your spouse drapes a wig over your monitor to remind you of what he/she looks like.
You check your mail. It says "no new messages". So you check it again.
All of your friends have an @ in their names.
You tell the kids they can't use the computer because you have work to do and you don't even have a job.
You start tilting your head sideways whenever you smile :)
Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage, so you buy another computer and install another phone line so that the two of you can have a chat.
As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
Your computer goes down, you haven't logged in for two hours. You start to tremble. You pick up the phone and dial your Internet access number. You try to mimic computer noise in order to connect and you succeed.
You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet!